Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Husband Hack! Five things you should know about Katie

Author: Trent Raines/ Husband
Title: Husband Hack #1
Date 28 August 2013

^^Sorry if my MLA formatting is a little rusty...it's been a while.

Blog:

One beautiful thing about Katie Raines is that she is a creature of habit...and by that, I mean she uses the same password for every single account she has. (Admit it, you do it too)

Thanks to this wonderful fact, I was able to sign right on to her blogger account and make a little post of my own MUHAHAHA!!!

Surely some of you have read Katie's recent post where she answered a bunch of questions that people sent in on her survey. If I knew how to put a link to that post I would...unfortunately I don't

I read all of my beautiful wife's posts...just as any loving, caring, husband would.  You can imagine my excitement when, towards the end of her last post someone asked "What is Trent really like?"  My chest puffed up with pride and a grin came across my face in joyous expectation of the loving words my wife would surely include in her reply...

Needless to say, as I read through her answer my grin faded and my chest deflated (that rhymed, NBD). Not that any of her answers were untrue at all...I mean they were all DEFINITELY true. I guess I just didn't realize that we liked to share those kind of things with the world.

Now that the bar has been set niiiiccce and low,  I would like to present to you: 5 things you should know about the real Katie Raines

1. She is an obsessive foot washer. Katie will not get into bed without washing her feet first. She says that she doesn't want to get the sheets dirty...weirdo. I know you are probably thinking "I dont get it...does she walk around barefoot outdoors all day? How do her feet get dirty enough to warrant washing every night?!" Answer: No she doesn't and No they don't get that dirty...she is just an obsessive foot washer!

2. She is a "I'm ready" faker.  Katie is the master of the "Ok, I'm ready...I just need to (fill in the blank)"  she has even been know to stretch it to the lengths of "I'm ready...I just have to change clothes, fix my hair, grab a snack, and clean up the room really quick" I have learned that I have to say something like, "Are you READY ready? Or just pretty much ready...because you have no shoes on" ...see #1. PRO TIP for husbands: don't stand stand by the door holding your keys while you wait for her to get ready...trust me!


3. She has a problem seeing her clothes. WAIT!! Listen to me before you accuse me of saying that my fashionable wife has bad taste...she doesn't!! What I mean to say is that no matter how pieces of clothes are in her spare bedroom/closet... I still hear "I have NOTHING to wear!" 2-3x a week. Something about those pesky clothes...once they have been worn twice they turn invisible to Katie.


4. She is "late in the game" paint changer. Doesn't matter what project we are working on... I know it is NOT finished until we have completely changed the paint color at least once. I thought she broke the streak with the decorative chalkboard frame she painted white...until literally today she said "hmmm...I should have gone with off white, I will have to change that soon!" Should have known...

5. She is a shoe/boot COLLECTOR. Katie has as many shoes as Bill Gates has dollar bills...(maybe a slight exaggeration, maybe not) but the reason I call Katie a collector is not just shear volume. she is a collector because she is always missing a seemingly VITAL piece to her shoe collection. AKA "UGH...I don't have a single pair of short, gray, suede, dress boots" Or "I can't believe believe I don't have a single pair of nude, wedges with an ankle strap and a small platform that aren't too dressy!"

The list could go on!

In all seriousness...my wife is my best friend! She is an all around incredible and beautiful person. I love her very, very, much!!!

All I am saying is...Katie, you better watch your back...husband hack #2 could come any day!!!

How do you end these things...love you?

K bye

Trent Raines

3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Haha!! I don't know about that...but it looks like its a little out of my control. Since the sneakster knows my password and all.

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