Thursday, May 1, 2014

STOP THROWING DELICIOUS FAST FOOD IN MY YARD


Last fall Gracie Belle ate some sort of hamburger that someone left on the sidewalk in front of our house.

I didn't really think much of it, but it was SUPER annoying, due to the fact that she was OBSESSED with finding more hamburgers for several days (kind of like what happened with the green pepper disaster).

Just a few months later, Gracie begs at the front door to go outside literally 20 times in a single night. I get suspicious and look out the window to see her practically strangling herself to reach a bright orange piece of trash in our yard.

I go out there and realize it's not trash...it is a boneless chicken wing. She had rummaged through a box of Buffalo Wild Wings that someone threw in our yard.

You guys, these weren't just any wings, they were BLAZIN' wings. Like literally the spiciest, hottest sauce that Buffalo Wild Wings offers.

So she ate several of those...

And let's just say it was an interesting next couple of days. Not trying to be graphic, but it looked like she pooped a cheeto.



Fast forward a few months, and AGAIN Gracie has discovered another piece of food thrown in our lawn.

This time... it's a roast beef sandwich.

So we have a hamburger, boneless chicken wings, and a roast beef sandwich all thrown in our yard within the course of about 8 months. Seriously, WHAT ARE THE ODDS!?

Our house sits on a steep hill. I am not exaggerating when I say, you would literally have to CHUCK that stupid roast beef sandwich out your car window 20+ft in order for it to land within Gracie's reach.

But it has happened. Three times.

So on Tuesday I post this little gem on Instagram.



Mystery solved.

I found this box sitting behind the bushes this morning....


ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?! A WHOPPER!?!?!?!?!

I have literally never seen a single piece of fast food trash in any of our neighbors' yards. Let alone, fast food trash WITH FOOD IN IT. Whoever is messing with me, STOP IT. Or I will hunt you down and punch you in the throat.

As if my dog isn't insane enough already, you are further damaging her emotional stability. Her emotions when she sees a free hamburger are literally off the charts. Trust me, I WOULD KNOW.

Here is me holding my bloated dog like a baby to prove it. Which is sort of just a selfie anyway.


So I say again...

STOP THROWING DELCIOUS FAST FOOD IN MY YARD. My dog doesn't have the self control for it.


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