My first personal training session with Trent Rainzenegger

Trent and I went on a walk tonight to burn off some of Gracie's energy.

It was GORGEOUS out. Not cold, not hot and we had a shady walk under the mature trees in our neighborhood.

By the time we made it to the coy pond, not even 1 mile away, I broke into a profuse sweat and my legs sort of burned.

That's just sad.

So the walk back was basically me trying to convince Trent that I needed a personal trainer for motivation.

Which then resulted in TRENT trying to convince ME that HE would be my personal trainer...if I paid him.

The conversation went something like this...

Me: "I need a personal trainer. If someone just told me what to do I would do it."

Trent: "That's a waste of money. I'll tell you what to do."

Me: "Ya, no. I need a professional."

Trent: "If you give me $20 an hour, I will be as professional as they come."

Me: "I don't trust you to actually follow through with this."

Trent: "Trent Rainzenegger, personal trainer to the stars, always follows through."

Me: "Did you just mash your name with Arnold Schwarzenegger?"

Trent: "I'll be back! (in a really terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger voice) And I'll keep coming back until you let me be your personal trainer for money."

Me: "Fine. Just please don't make me hate you."

So it begins...

7:35pm
Rainzenegger instructs me to change and get ready for the "workout of my life."

7:37pm
I come downstairs to see Rainzenegger removed the rugs from the hardwood floors. No slippage in this mug.

7:38pm
I'm instructed to jog in place for 1 minute "to get the blood flowin"

7:39pm
Already breathing hard.

7:40pm
Rainzenegger escorts me to the dining room, where I am instructed to stand against the wall. From now on, the wall will be referred to as the edge of hell.

7:42pm
I've made it about 10 lunges and my legs are shaking. Rainzenegger is yelling to "dip it low, bring it up slow!"

7:45pm
Five minutes in and I'm feeling a little queazy. The snicker doodle cookies I ate an hour before feel like bricks tumbling around my insides.

7:50pm
Wall sits. 30 seconds in and I can't make it. Can't stop laughing at my dog who is STARING deep into my soul while I sit on an invisible chair. She's confused.

7:55pm
I ask for another water break. Rainzenegger, "personal trainer to the stars", says no.

7:56pm
Side lunges from hell. Rainzenegger says to stop acting like a "jv backup". I say to stop acting like a freaking drill sergeant.

8:20pm
We have now completed 2 sets of "stations". I am convinced I will never be able to walk normal again.

8:30pm
I want to cut off my legs. Rainzenegger convinces me that I CAN do a wall sit for a full minute. I grab two fist fulls of his shirt and proceed to do a laugh/mostly cry for the remaining 30 seconds.

8:35pm
Workout is over. I could swim laps in my own sweat.

8:40pm
Rainzenegger hands me a chunky glass of "magic chocolate milk". Also known as a protein shake.

8:45pm
I have managed to force down 75% of the chocolate goop.  My dog continues to stare at me. Convinced she is witnessing my death.

Rainzenegger tells me the times above are all wrong. It was a 25 minute workout.

It felt like days. I digress.

Good thing I only committed to 3 days a week. Should be no problem...as long as I'm able to actually get out of bed in the morning.

If how my legs feel now are any indication, things aren't looking good.