Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Credit Where Credit's Due

This is Trent.  Hi. You should really read this.

Never really done a super serious post.  I guess you could call it a husband hack because Katie is upstairs doing a friends makeup and has no idea I am writing this. But I am going to put the jokes mostly down for now.

Here the long and short of what I want to talk about: Give credit where credit is due.

I feel like we all would say this is reasonable.  If someone graduates from college, we give them a degree.  If someone makes a delicious meal, we compliment the chef.  If someone plays an incredible game, we call them the MVP.

The only problem is that most of the time we are REALLY bad at giving ourselves credit.  

Katie is a perfect example of that.

So that is why I am here today. That woman deserves some serious credit and she sure as heck isn't going to take it for herself.   I respect that. A lot.

Ya see here is the thing about Katie...

She is the most compassionate person I have ever met.  Hands down. She doesn't just feel your pain, she hurts with you.  She doesn't just agree with you, she tries to convince other people of the same thing.  She doesn't just help out, she makes it her own mission and gets work done.  Katie is a dying breed in todays world.  She honestly and truly cares SO MUCH MORE about others than she does herself.

Credit Due. Credit Given.

Katie is also extremely trusting.  Sure this occasionally leads to hilarious situations in which she believes something that very clearly can't be true. (i.e. on april fools day I said i put an offer in on a house out of the blue.  Her response was "OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!" she TOTALLY believed me) The flip side of this trait is that she has some serious faith. Faith in God and faith in the goodness of people. Faith in the little things and faith in the REALLY big things. SO rare. We blame people like Katie for being gullible.  Maybe the story should instead be, shame on you for trying to deceive someone. She trusts you before you have proven yourself worthy.  Sounds a lot like someone else I know. Jesus. Jesus does that too.

Credit Due. Credit Given.

She is an "includer". Katie doesn't enjoy things in which people are left out.  Invitation only? No thanks.  Teams of two and there are 7 people? She sits immediately. One M&M left in the bowl? She is not touching that baby with a 10ft pole.  This was perfectly illustrated to me last year.  Katie and I were going to take a cue from The Office and do our own version of the "The Dundie Awards".  They were going to be called "The Rainesies" and we were going to buy little trophies and send them to the winners.  Here was the problem.  We started making a list of winners and Katie literally thought up an award for basically every single family member and friend.  I pushed back "If we give them to everyone, they won't be special."  Katie's response..."I don't care.  I am giving a Rainesie to everyone because they deserve it."  After our list was done it was going to cost us a SIGNIFICANT amount of money to buy tiny trophies for all the people Katie wanted to recognize, so we ended up not doing it. Katie was ok with that.  Everyone is included, or we don't do it all.  Period.  That is beautiful.

Credit Due.  Credit Given.

Katie thinks the best of people and situations.  You could say she is an eternal optimist.  I am not.  Like at all.  I am what I would call a realist.  Here is what I mean.  Situation: You get a piece of mail with a key glued to it and it says something like "Come down to the car lot on May 5th! That key may just start a brand new car!!!"  My reaction: Yeah. Right.  They sent out thousands of these and none of them actually start a new car. Throw it away.  Katie's reaction: OH. MY. GOSH. I think I probably won a brand new car!!!  Put that on the calendar we are going down there on May 5th!  BEST DAY EVER!!! NEW CAR!!!  That might seem extreme.  But it is actually totally realistic in this house :)   Another example: Walmart beauty box.  It is $5 a month and once a month they send you a random selection of beauty product samples to try out.  When that box shows up at the door, I have started to get excited.  Not because I like beauty samples...but because I know Katie is going to be SO EXCITED! And why shouldn't she be?! What does it hurt? I used to feel good about my "down to earth" ways.  I am responsible.  But you know what I realized after being married to Katie?  I am not "responsible", I am just afraid of being disappointed.  Not Katie.  She would rather get excited 100 times and never once have it turn out, then to win 100 times without ever getting excited.  THAT IS AMAZING! Do you understand the kind of strength it takes to let yourself be excited like that?!  And you know what? Katie is a happier person than me because of it.  She lives her life excited for something all the time. 

Credit Due.  Credit Given.

Last one.  She is humble.  This feeds right into the not giving herself credit thing.  How can I say this. Katie is extremely talented. So creative. She is outgoing and an incredible people person.  She loves without boundaries.  She has this amazing blog that does really well.  She was the president of her sorority.  She is a natural leader.  She is sought after in her career and in friendships.  She is athletic and beautiful. Thats not the half of it. She kind of has it all going for her.  BUT the best part of that is....if you meet her on the street, you would't know ANY of that. I heard once that true humility is not thinking less of yourself...it is thinking of yourself less.  THAT is what Katie does. She doesn't have time to give herself credit, simply because she is way to busy giving it to others.  Having the things/traits she has, could so easily be ruined and twisted by a person who was proud that it was all true of themselves.  Katie doesn't isn't proud of that though. She doesn't think that about it like that at all.  In fact she doesn't think of herself at all. She is humble.

Credit Due. Credit Given.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You deserve some credit. Give it.

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